sniffing:

Having sex in elevators is wrong on so many levels.

(via thekylajade)

am i the only one who rehearses things i might say in advance? and I don’t mean like my theoretical oscars acceptance speech i mean like what i’ll say to the pizza guy when I answer the door in my pjs

(Source: heathicorn, via littlegracenote)

laptopped:

laptopped:

*accidently has crush on someone 193739 miles away*

image

(via thekylajade)

hotwhiteguy:

hotwhiteguy:

i lost my number, can you give me yours

no no no not your phone number your credit card number

(via musicalbeatles)

exasperatingme:

a-modest-mans-only-rebel-son:

nahshaw:

true love is having a crush on him even after he got a haircut

the female mind is a very strange place.

No one’s denying it

(via thekylajade)

snickidoodle:

d0nn0:

beyoncevevo:

there needs to be a month between august and september 

october???

son i have news for you

(via thekylajade)

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND

FLOOR IT?

NICK NO

HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

NICK P L E A S E

(via t0-infinity-and-bl0nde)

broadens:

the number on the weighing scale doesn’t matter when my favorite pair of jeans can still fit me

(via alyholic)